The Thrill Is Gone

I don’t like blogging as much since I discovered that people have been reading specifically to look for things they can try to use against me, by inserting their megalomania into my metaphors. It feels like waking up one morning and finding a ladder propped outside your bathroom window, or having a party and finding an uninvited guest rummaging through your check stubs, or trying on your underwear, or pissing in your sink.

Even password-protecting some posts feels strange; I’ve got to second-guess where others’ agendas might enter into what I write, and therefore, marginally partcipate in issues that are not my own.  And of course, if people really want to feel attacked, just the appearance of a protected post can throw up a red flag, as in, “Omigod!  A password!  She’s writing about ME!”

All I’m trying to do is to write about ME.  But, under the circumstances, I can write so little about me that I’m sort of losing my incentive to do it.

So, help me out:

What do you like about Blahg, anyways? 

Why are so many silent folks reading daily?

Give me some clues, here. 

You don’t have to use your real name, and only I see your e-mail address. I’m wondering if I should just go completely private, and restrict Blahg to my old friends, whose motives I can understand and trust. 

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12 thoughts on “The Thrill Is Gone

  1. I like your perspective (which isn’t all that dissimilar to mine!) and you’ve got more experience under your belt as an artist that I’m only just starting to accumulate. 🙂

    Can’t give you a definitive answer about the silent reading majority though — I get a lot of ’em myself — but I think it has something to do with the nature of the ‘net. Having run an email list since 1994, I noticed that maybe 5% of the readers posted 95% of the messages, while others never had the urge (or intestinal fortitude) to say anything.

    What bothers me sometimes about that attitude is that is laps over into how many (not all) people interact with their respective democracies. Voter turnout is at an all-time low here in North America, and polling supposedly shows that more and more folks are disaffected with their elected officials.

    If you switch over to a private blog, I understand, and hope you let me continue to read (and occasionally participate!)….

    I’ve been, and continue to be, impressed about how often you write, and feel I’m doing my (very small) subscriber base a disservice by not posting more often than once a week or so.

    🙂

  2. I don’t post responses because it still feel voyeuristic to me to be reading… even though you’re choosing to share. But I love your blahg, especially the photographs, and I hope you don’t stop.

    ok – here’s one I should have posted: I have a friend who says, you go to work, you eat shit.

  3. 1. I like the blog b/c I like you. Since you blog about yourself, it all just goes hand in hand.

    2. Even beyond that, I think you’re a great writer, and are super articulate. In this day and age, where those two traits seem to be very, very rare in our species, I value them highly.

    3. You’re hilarious!!!

    4. You do a really good job at presenting a well-rounded view of things: when you are mad, or sad, or happy, or rested, or not, and so on. So it feels like I’m witnessing the life of a Real Person (which is also rare these days).

    5. I don’t get to see you as often as I used to, so this is the next best substitute.

    p.s. – I can’t believe people are combing your blog for ammunition to use against you. I know, I’m probably the most naive person on the planet, but still…I think it would be a big loss to the community for this to have to go private.

  4. Hey! I read your blog because I love your reflections on the ups and downs of life as an artist. It’s not an easy one, but then again: who wants easy? Anyway, I don’t generally ever comment on any blogs, but I love yours and I hope you continue.

  5. Thanks all, and thanks for the e-mail on this subject, too.
    Everyone who’s commented, I know & have heard from before.
    Right now I’m feeling a bit like the photo above after hearing second and third hand about some of the negative interpretations of Blahg. Obviously, it’s got me disgusted and conflicted.
    I guess no one who blogs hears from all the ‘silent hit’ folks

  6. we get 1,500 hits a day on our blog, but only 1-3 comments. most all are silent.

    i read to find out what you’re doing.

    as for the paranoia, fuck em all and let god sort it out – that’s her job anyway.

  7. I admit I enjoy reading your blog. Perhaps, not part of my daily routine but I certainly take a peek every couple of weeks.

    Your blog offers a lot of insight, humor and is scathingly honest. A true reflection of your best qualities.

    I do not enjoy commenting as much. However, in the interest of hearing from at least one of the silent readers indulging in a slice of your life I thought it would only be fair to comment.

  8. They may be silent, but I track the stats on visitor numbers, where they live, and how they found their way to whatever it is I wrote or a photograph I posted, which is far more common.

    (My photo of the model for What I Felt is the single most popular item on my blog — it’s amazing how many hits I get on that page.)

    And in some ways, I find the numbers as much, if not more, informative than someone posting a “you go girl” thing at some odd interval.

  9. I find your blog educational. You are a hard working artist, and I like to learn about the nuts and bolts of yr life. The info about residencies is neat. I love your photos, too.

    On the nature of blogging: it’s something we’ve never had before. Practically free. I know someone who’s homeless and he blogs from a library. I think email was a technology that created better writers of us all, and blogging just ups the ante. Email was semi-private though. I believe that we should have complete freedom of expression, and blogging comes closest to this. But when you post public blogs, it provides access to those who do not necessarily have your best interest. Information gives them power.

  10. I admit I was one of the lurkers. Thanks for being open and articulate on the creative process and letting the community at large get a glimpse of the discipline and dedication it takes to persue a life in the arts.
    I am biased in that I believe you’re one of the most interesting people I’ve known. Some people DON’T deserve the right to meddle with your life, and only you have the right to decide who gets in. Your voice needn’t be self-censored. There’s also no reason why shouldn’t have an trusted inner circle that you rely on for your deepest concerns. I hope it’s not too diificult to maintain the balance.

  11. blagh’s the next best thing to the letters i useta get 20 years ago to keep up with ya. altho i gotta admit, i miss seeing those works of art coming thru the mail!

  12. hey! everybody else’s icon is nice and geometric and squared off and stuff and mine looks like it’s coming apart at the seams! what’s up with that?!

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