Frozen Trivialities

snoman

Neighbor performing time-honored winter ritual

I am in Application Land, crankin’ ‘em out. They still take forever, always longer than I want, and I wish to hell some sort of image standardization could be implemented for the residencies, at least. (Though happily, and finally, this is the first year on record I have been able to send digital images everywhere; last year, there were still places that required slides). But everyone wants different formatting, different numbers of images; today, yet another PowerPoint…

Chicago was -5 Fahrenheit, with a -40 degree windchill yesterday (-12 overnight); yep, I was out in it, getting stuff printed and mailed by the mid-month postmark deadline. It’s better today (+8). I’m trying to wrap these up in time for tomorrow’s balmy 26 degrees, when I can comfortably return to my way-too-freakin’-cold-right-now basement studio.

So, being still so self-involved, and having nothing interesting to update Blahg with, I remembered how much I used to like reading Smith’s lists of the weird search engine terms people used to find his web site. I don’t have the capability to see those on my site, but I can here. By far, most people are actually looking for me, and secondarily for specific subjects I’ve written about. They’re nowhere near as funny as Smith’s, but here are some of the odder phrases people have used to find Blahg in the past few months:

  • Trees on hills
  • cross ness
  • Riverness
  • trains mist
  • train mist
  • mist train
  • Missour forests
  • Farm Land flickr
  • fun alcoholic
  • Art of a Bard
  • De Composed Art
  • Small and Narrow galley kitchens
  • Lewsi isalnd Scotalnd
  • What is Oddiology?
  • crinkle for church windows
  • Badlands Wow
  • oakey jay and melissa …….and my favorite:
  • my virgin won’t work

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5 thoughts on “Frozen Trivialities

  1. ROFL — those are way funnier than the last month of searches that brought people to mine. All I’ve had is:

    thunder snow
    bring in the brass monkeys
    gymnosperms
    oil derrick
    clip art sheep fleece
    wind, rain, and ice
    book experimental folds
    olfa knife, chicago, il

  2. love the snow pic. and good lord, app land! i don’t miss it. i HATE the ones that want pp. but this is as good a time as any to do it, to hunker down where it’s warm when it’s cold everywhere else.

    haven’t been able to comment a lot out here but am keeping up as best as i can!

  3. you gave me an idea for a blog – i’ll do a greatest hits out of my two-year poem of found search phrases.

    here’s one of the very last entries:

    May 2006
    photographs in nude with know clothes by lake
    Luminous Voluminous
    collection of rainwater in the body of road
    duchamp use chance in anemic cinema
    little girl masturbationg
    bush as traitor
    mourning the loss of a dog chasing rabbits
    6/6/6 george W Bush Fox
    george w bush 666
    cheesecake recourse
    diseased vaginas
    diaphanous pussy
    666 the end days and gw bush
    kathy ireland naked
    kathy smith nude
    Camus’ philosophy Hamlet’s Kant’s progressive unification
    how long did”lab rats” in concentration camps
    pussy prowl
    op/pop menus
    shiny ladies naked baby oil
    contemporary anarchy artists
    nude breast pictures erotic panty -fucking -cock -xxx -hardcore
    meek AT THE END
    define oopa
    excerpt from dancing naked in the mind field light bulb
    penis+womb+mom+son+stories
    george bush 666
    all hail to the red white and blue
    ford pinto – let em burn
    bush traitor
    dog sniff lips
    W bush and 666
    Free blindfold acts of obsession
    deepest fear is not inadequat
    whipped horses dripping mud
    “rainbow+rain”
    George W. Bush 666
    good citizen
    George W. Bush and the number 666
    bush 666
    misshaped toes
    “land of the blind”
    psyquatic
    glass penises in vase art
    666 george w bush
    teen cunnilingus
    dog eating marijuana
    “erotic fear”
    “cleveland” “truth crushed to the ground”
    stores to bye spore
    Is George W. Bush a traitor?
    pussy feathers
    alcoholic lab rats
    Almost the surreal thing
    foto night slip room x
    bush fears 666
    amish and placenta
    falling bush cheats
    smoking dmt bong -hoover
    naakt woman
    hysterectomy riddles jokes
    fuck-love collection
    Which Beatles album was recalled for its cover
    to dehydrate chicken feet
    marcos nazi malacanang swastika
    666 evil and chaos
    wet dresses in pools
    giant paper umbrellas
    pics of old ladys missing teeth
    bootstrap girls nude thumbs
    dwarf rat born without eyes
    science words to remember (giraffes ride my new skateboard)
    violation
    mun ra
    undeveloped vulva dogs
    How long was Black Bart a thief a thief?
    benzedrine inhaler for sale
    missing toes fotos
    “tall woman” AND midget OR “tiny man” OR dwarf
    George W Bush + 666
    whats the smallest irish mammal
    apprentice vomiting blood
    double fisted nun
    fucked up contemporary painting!
    diseased vaginas
    the fist pope who is drink coffee
    george bush 666
    lychanthropy and bad medicine
    turking sleepy

  4. I’ll look forward to that blog, I used to really, really like getting those e-mails.

    My favorite in this batch: amish and placenta
    Three runner-ups: turking sleepy; cheesecake recourse;
    science words to remember (giraffes ride my new skateboard).

    Linda’s is, hands down: bring in the brass monkeys

    I wonder yet again: who are these people?

  5. Mine is actually explainable — I had a blog post titled that just over a year ago when it was utterly freakin’ cold here. That folks actually (a) search on the term and (b) bothered to look at my post, totally flummoxes me.

    That being said, a good friend of mine (male, gay, seriously hardcore knitter/spinner) got a swack of hits from a Christian marriage site (and wrote a blog post) about it too — I’m not sure what they were searching for, but I can guarantee you that Ted’s site was not what they were looking for….

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